Be Careful Who You Help. The people we help the most are often the people who hurt us the most. Life teaches us quietly like this, often after trust has been lost and kindness has been taken for granted. It’s beautiful to help others out, but pouring your heart into the wrong people can have scars that take years to heal.
Some people come into our lives under a false belief that we need love, support or friendship. Yet we support them in their worst points and, in doing so, we waste our time (or time not spent) and energy, peace and often our dreams. When no one else is defending them, people take up their case for us. We believe what they say, their promise, the tears and promises.
However, not everyone places a premium on kindness. Others regard this only as a chance to use someone who truly cares. The saddest pain isn’t inflicted by strangers. It is coming from people we trusted wholeheartedly. Those we kept awake, prayed for, or fought for become sometimes the very things that make it hard to sleep even at night.
They forget the hands that lifted them when they were falling. They no longer need any help and walk off as if our efforts meant nothing. Being kind should never be taken as giving yourself away over and over again. A pure heart does not lend itself to manipulation. It is OK to say "no." It’s ok to leave folks who only remember you when they need something.
Defending your peace is not selfish; it is essential. It is the problem of many well-meaning people thinking others believe as they do. They are just trying to keep themselves safe. They expect loyalty by default by virtue of giving loyalty. They want honesty, so they hold the integrity of the truth.
But love does not always arrive in return. That truth hurts, but it was also essential. As a result, betrayal should never make us cruel. The answer is not to stop helping people altogether. The answer is with wisdom. Train yourself to notice actions instead of platitudes. If it’s no longer helpful for you, notice each of their actions now. Real people stay.
Fake people disappear at the moment their needs have been met. Above all, kindness is a strength, not a weakness. But even a soft heart requires boundaries. Be kind, but be cautious. Not everyone who cries deserves your trust, and not everyone you save will be thrilled with being saved. Sometimes, the most important person you have to protect is yourself.
Your kind heart is a gift… don’t waste it on people who don’t deserve it.
