I’m teaching my kids an early lesson something I wish I knew sooner myself. You don't get to have a part in your life if people don’t wish you the best. Whether they’re a friend, cousin, aunt, uncle or someone you’ve known for years, that doesn’t matter. If they persistently make you feel insignificant, invisible or unimportant…it isn’t true that they are worthy of your love or your time or your heart.
Love Without Kindness Isn’t Love
But real love is gentle. Real love lifts you up. Real love makes you feel safe. If someone “loves” you but never shows kindness… then that love is not love at all. It’s just a habit. It is comfort. It’s something that they’re clinging to because they don’t know how to release.
Connection Without Respect Isn’t Connection
You can stay in touch with someone and be alone. Every relationship starts with respect. If there is no respect, there is no safety. There is no trust without respect. Without respect, there is no connection. And your heart was not created to dwell in a place where it was not valued.
We Get to Set Boundaries
Boundaries are not walls. Boundaries are bridges. They model your treatment to others. They protect your peace. They honor your worth. You don’t have to put up with disrespect just because you give a damn. You don’t have to remain in a relationship that saps your life. You get to say, “This is not OK."
Walking Away Isn’t Cruel - It’s Brave
Walking away does not equate to weakness. It means you know at last that your peace counts as well. It means you are being selective. And yes, it will hurt. Because you never want to leave someone who you have had a part of your life. But staying where you’re not really respected hurts more — slowly and quietly, really deep.
This Is Not Being Mean
Protecting your peace is not cruelty. It is self-love. It’s a realization that you deserve kindness not only from strangers but also from your loved ones.
The Lesson I Want to Teach My Children
If I could teach a thing to my children, it’s this:
You never earn a place at a table where you’re not well treated. You don’t need to prove your worth. You don’t have to beg for love. Don’t choose to stay in a place where you are tiny. You are not a debatable trait. And if someone is unable to treat you with kindness and respect then they don’t merit your inclusion.
