Last week, spiritual speaker Devakinandan Thakur made a statement that surprised many: neither husband nor wife should eat and providing for each other is ashubh (inauspicious). His words made people laugh, they made us all think about the new day or to whom he spoke and how would you consider that sharing with your spouse wrong? The reasoning behind beliefs comes from cultural and symbolic aspects: for such beliefs to emerge we need to take this into account.
Thakur stated that couples eating together or feeding each other is not recommended. Thakur considers it against the spiritual balance of marriage and may even bring negative energy in your life– I see what happens if you are an adult with more than one wife or child and have some love for every other spouse or family member. While that’s not a mainstream philosophy in today’s world, we know that this comes from a cultural interpretation for these rituals and cultural events such as weddings and all ceremonies that are accepted as normal ones.
Possible Logic Behind the Belief
- Separation of Roles – In old texts for instance, husband and wife had roles, a sign of separation of roles. Eating separately was considered as part of being disciplined and respectful in the household and treated fairly.
- Food as Rituals – Meals were viewed as sacred items and almost ritualistic in nature. Mixing emotions that contained romance with food turned to the purity of it.
- Avoiding Over-Attachment – Some of the spiritual teachers will say you can depend on being affectionate, and even in small things as feeding each other (feeding every other person) is a source of dependency and distraction where people want to be more in love, but you have a very good idea not.
- Cultural Continuity – Customs rarely have a clear concept and they’re passed down as part of tradition. What seems strange today to society can be linked to social order centuries ago.
Eating with each other is a sign of love, a common bond and as a family thing as well as something we take for granted. Eating together can strengthen relations and family unity. Couples from different cultures must share meals in person daily and psychological services suggest this because conversation can be enhanced to make one feel more at all connected.
So although Thakur’s statement shows them a more traditional look, most people perceive meals today as opportunities for connection and not something inauspicious.
That Devakinandan Thakur says, ‘no couples should eat together,’ is controversial because of contemporary values that require companionship between people. It is likely based on old beliefs, especially among Indians and others about self-possession and orderliness and ritual purity. Yet today, sharing food is considered a symbol of love and sharing oneself. Then again either an individual practice or tradition that follows that person will remain true to the individual.
